Il y a vingt ans, mes parents m’ont donné le nom Rachel Mihuta Grimm. C’est une bouchée de syllabes qui contient le nom de famille de mon père (Grimm), celui de ma mère (Mihuta), et le poids de la légende d’une matriarche biblique (Rachel), mère de Joseph, son fils de merveille, et de Benjamin, son fils de deuil. Je suis la fille d’un pilote avec une intelligence et un esprit aussi formidables que les cieux qu’il traverse et une biologiste devenue institutrice au collège. Mon frère ainé est ingénieur et qui, à l’âge de vingt-deux ans, est déjà un employée respecté et indispensable de Boeing, le plus grand avionneur de monde. Et moi je suis écrivaillon qui se croit écrivaine dans mes moments de fantaisie. Je suis dans ma troisième année d’études d’anglais et de français à Ohio University à Athens, Ohio, une ville appelée comme le centre intellectuel du monde ancien, mais coincée dans la pauvreté démunie des Appalaches.
Ma jeunesse était caractérisée d’un sens profond d’isolement—tout d’abord dans ma famille nucléaire et plus tard dans le contexte dans le village où j’étais élevée. Mes parents m’ont nourrie d’une alimentation de pensées et de spiritualité libérales. Pour cela je serai toujours reconnaissante, mais cette éducation m’a forcément éloignée de mes pairs. Kidron, Ohio: c’est un tout petit village où on croit toujours que le réchauffement climatique est un bobard puéril et qu’un programme de soins de santé universel est évidence d’un germe de socialisme qui infectera notre démocratie. Quels cons. Il fallait que je fuie de là, sans question. Je me suis mise à l’abri de l’ignorance et je me suis refugiée dans le monde académique et dans la littérature.
Pendant deux ans à l’université, j’étais contente de suivre le chemin dallé par mes prédécesseurs dans le domaine de la littérature. J’étais captivée par les bibliothèques silencieuses qui bordaient ma voie et je me suis perdue dans le labyrinthe des grands esprits, plein de promesses d’éclaircissement. Mais bien que mon chemin à moi était individualisé et de temps en temps isolé, je faisais partie quand même d’un édifice plus grand que ma perspective là-dessus. C’est une structure immense construite après des siècles et des siècles d’érudition. Je n’étais qu’une voyageuse qui errait parmi ses sentiers, mon chemin unique mais fixe. Et au centre de ce labyrinthe, prêt à engorger le chanceux voyageur qui y achève, était le Minotaure de Dédale lui-même. Dans le domaine de la littérature, on appelle ce monstre « le canon occidental. » C'est lui qui aura toujours le dernier mot.
Heureusement, j’ai eu la chance d’entrevois à distance ce monstre tout englobant avant qu’il me dévore complètement. Et j’ai compris enfin que les voix de mes professeurs respectés auxquels je me suis habituée à entendre et absorber n’étaient pas leurs voix à eux. Ils ont parcouru dans le même dédale que moi et c’était en fait la voix du monstre, le canon occidental, que j’ai entendue sortir de leur bouche. Ce monstre est plutôt un virus ; il réside dans leurs poumons, il se perche sur les petits os de leurs oreilles internes. Mais de cette position privilégiée, il contrôle tout, il silence tout ce qui le contredit. C’est pour ça que nos bibliothèques sont si silencieuses ; c’est pour respect et pour peur de réveiller et de contrarier ce monstre et son canon.
J’ai découvert que j’avais été si accaparée de la luminosité au centre de ce labyrinthe construite par les mains tachées d’encre de la tradition littéraire que j’avais ignoré tout ce qui est périphérique. Je voulais explorer toutes les pièces et toutes les portes qui avaient étaient verrouillées jusqu’à là. Tournant le dos pour la première fois à ce que le canon occidental et les professeurs qui le régurgitent m’ont toujours dit à étudier—Milton et Molière jusqu’à Giraudoux et Proust—j’ai jeté un coup d’œil furtif derrière ces portes fermées. Et j’y ai trouvé une foule de voix bruyantes, intrépides, hurlant dans toutes les langes du monde derrière des huis clos. Et c’est à ce moment là où j’ai découvert votre écriture à vous, Mme. Mokeddem.
En lisant Les Hommes qui marchent, il fallait que je mette à portée de la main un cahier qui, à la fin de ma lecture, était plein de citations et de notations. Tandis que les feuilles mortes des arbres d’automne effleuraient ma fenêtre, j’avais la tête enveloppée du vent de sables de l’Algérie. J’ai vu les conte de Zohra dévoilent avec les yeux écarquillés d’une enfante captivée par les histoire de sa grand-mère.
La Transe des insoumis a verbalisé un sentiment que je n’arrivais pas à exprimer depuis la première fois que je suis allée en France il y a deux ans. Le nomadisme de mes pensées et de mes rêves m’a rendu en même temps isolée du monde extérieur et exclue de l’identité que la société m’a assigné. Je suis, comme vous l’avez brillamment dit, une identité traversière. Que je sois aux Etats-Unis ou en France, l’autre côté de l’océan, c'est encore chez moi. Je suis dans un état de séparation perpétuelle.
Heureusement, j’ai la chance de faire partie d’un programme particulier à la fac qui me fournit l’opportunité de construire des cours privés et individualisés avec mes professeurs. Ce trimestre passé, j’ai suivi une recherche de la littérature maghrébine avec une de mes professeurs. C’est dans ce cours-là que j’ai découvert vos œuvres. Pour recevoir mon diplôme l’année prochaine, il faudra que j’écrive une thèse ; votre travail m’a donné enfin une nouvelle promesse d’éclaircissement et une focalisation. C’est grâce à l’audace de votre écriture que moi j’ai le courage de m’écarter du sentier battu et de trouver mon propre chemin.
Mon analyse du paradoxe de l’indépendance qui se manifeste dans vos œuvres a déversé un torrent de pensées diverses. Je m’intéresse à la position d’un sous-ensemble marginalisé dans une population qui est déjà subjuguée d’un pouvoir externe. Comme on a vu dans votre roman Les Hommes qui marchent, la barbarie qui vous est arrivée à la fête du premier anniversaire de l’indépendance algérienne est l’apogée de cette disparité. La situation des femmes maghrébines dans une société patriarcale réduit à néant pour elles l’indépendance gagnée du colon français. Malgré cette liberté, elles se trouvent toujours esclaves de leur biologie, de leur mari, de leur culture, et de leur gouvernement.
Nous, les spectatrices et les participantes de ce paradoxe, nous demandons comment révolter contre une société qui nie la signifiance de notre existence. Et si on trouve un moyen efficace de révolter, comment assurer que notre réussite ne répétera jamais les défauts de nos oppresseurs ? Comment nous délier du cycle perpétuel de domination, de subjugation, et de révolution ? Où se trouve notre chemin à nous, un nouveau sentier dépourvu des ornières creusées par les pieds de nos prédécesseurs ?
C’est dans ces questions que j’espère trouver le fil de ma thèse future, et c’est pour demander votre opinion là-dessus que j’ai entrepris de vous écrire. Je les jette dans les airs et dans les ténèbres qui pénètrent au bout de ma compréhension de ce paradoxe apparemment inexplicable mais indéniablement pertinent. Je ne vous demande pas beaucoup—seulement un mot, une minute, une confirmation que cette lutte de compréhension vaut la peine de la battre.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
A Campaign of Indifference
We have made a grievous mistake. We have been shouting—spread feet, raised fists, chapped lips—in our opponent’s own language. He yelps back, gathering the scraps of vocabulary that we toss his way—hegemony, hierarchy, domination, imperialism—and he licks them up like a dog. But what have we done to make him understand that these rotten remnants of progressive civilization are corrupt? That which we cast off as trash is another man’s treasure—a bigger man’s treasure. A master of the alchemy of politics, he hoards the leaden millstones of a sinking society and transforms them into capitalist gold. Do we not only fuel his economy with our words? To him, imperialism is not barbarism parading as humanism—it is capital. Hegemony is not depravation—he translates it as power.
It is a curious phenomenon that criticism is perhaps an even stronger motivation than praise. Success in the face of disapproval is the greatest revenge. Biography tells us that every triumph, for it to amount to anything in the public eye, is sullied by dissent: the English teacher who told the aspiring author that she was a horrid speller; the doctor who told the terminally ill patient that he would never overcome his malady; the taunting football player who pissed on the tennis shoes of the computer geek in the locker room. Our heroes need a battle, scars, a ribbon, a medal, a near-death experience in a country far away, and a mother back home begging them not to go. Otherwise, success, survival, and the overcoming of odds would hardly count.
In the same way that our heroes’ obstacles seem to legitimize their successes, we have a curious human tendency to validate others based on the Skeletons in their Closet. I use George W. Bush for a contemporary example. It has never ceased to baffle me that the American populous could so unabashedly overlook their 43rd president’s unquestioningly average academic success. No, perhaps overlook is not the correct word, for we have ministries and commissions and committees to uncover all pitfalls of a politician’s past life, especially for a position as important of that of the president. Americans simply disregarded the fact that history and biography both quite clearly indicate George W. Bush’s dangerous mediocrity.
But why concentrate on Mr. Bush’s average grades at Yale and Harvard when the American mass media offers us a plethora of much more tantalizing Skeletons to uncover than our former president’s C’s in college? Instead, we spread the legs of our public figures and prod about, searching for scandal, adultery, sex tapes, indecent exposure, or kinky bedroom secrets. Our politicians panties are much more transparent than our government’s policies.
Are we so saturated with superficial scandal that we fail to recognize the sweeping corruption that so characterizes our government and its dignitaries? Again, I do not think this is a matter of ignorance. Instead, it is a symptom of a rather simple psychological phenomenon: the aforementioned glorification of the Skeleton in the Closet. In the brief period of my life when I regularly attended a Pentecostal church (an experience worth exploring more in depth in a separate avenue), Sins and Skeletons became synonymous. In one of the first services I attended at Christian Harbor Church, Pastor recited from the pulpit an exhaustive catalog of his personal Skeletons: drug, alcohol, and porn addiction, licentiousness, covetousness, and depression. The congregation cheered and hollered. Just look how far he’d come! The congregation commiserated with their pastor on their respective Sins, awed over his apparent success in combating these demons, and left the service with hope renewed and faith restored. If he could do it, they could too.
So let us put these too phenomenon—the compelling power of criticism and the curious case of the Skeletons in the Closet—and put them back into the context of our original subject: the politician. It is interesting to see just how many of our politicians have admitted to using drugs, to abusing alcohol, to skipping class in college, to having extramarital affairs. We criticize, yes, of course we do. But as detailed above, this judgment only bolsters the counterargument. “Yes, I admit,” says the politician (hypothetically), “to having used recreational marijuana on occasion during my university years. But,” he goes on to say, “as I matured and critically evaluated my past decisions, the experience has only fortified and refined my conviction that drugs, be they recreational or not, are utterly detestable and should remain prohibited in this great country of ours.” (Aww, cmon!)
And so our criticism, valid as it may be, bolsters his perhaps affected rebuttal. Without appearing overtly condescending, he brings himself down to our level, saying quietly that he has made the same mistakes as we do, he has experienced the same pitfalls that we stumble into, and he has understood our suffering. How Christ-like. He makes an appeal to our intellect, trusting that in our maturity, we too will understand the evils of drugs (or socialism, or alcohol, or welfare, or rebellion, or various other values too liberal for the refined mine). And lastly, he invokes patriotism, proclaiming that to be a productive member of society, we too much share his views and values. Feeling self-actualized and self-important, we rise to our feet and applaud.
Although I had not intended to discuss counterculture, an opportunity for a useful aside conveniently presents itself. Consider the word itself; it linguistically implies its opposite, making an arbitrary distinction between what is generally recognized as culture and its antithesis. Let us return to the example given above: the politician who (hypothetically) publicly admits to having partaken in recreational marijuana. Sitting on the boardwalk that skirts between culture and counterculture, he dipped his toes into the tempting waters below. He gazed into the waters to catch his own reflection and he fell in love. But a learned scholar as he was, he did not fall into the trap of Narcissus; instead, he took a step back, as to admire his reflection from a fuller angle. And from there, on his pedestal, his pulpit, his pillar, his stage, he began to preach, stronger than ever.
The fundamental defect of this dichotomous model is that both extremes mutually support one another. The waters of counterculture only reflect the color of the sky, after all. Just as a rebel without a cause is a no-good rebel, the politician’s platform is incomplete without his denunciations. The two extremes push and shove, shout and curse, point fingers and accuse. Where are we left after this perpetual battle of tug of war? With abraded palms and hoarse voices from screaming across a chasm we can’t bring ourselves to cross.
What option are we left with? We have shown how success in the face of criticism is the greatest triumph of them all, and that Skeletons in the Closet are little more than political toys. What has established itself as culture’s antithesis is simultaneously a reflection and a negation of its rival. I am tempted to propose a campaign of indifference and absenteeism. There is nothing more detestable than apathy. Instead of offering words of encouragement or words of dissuasion, offer no words at all. What motivation will the soldier departing for war have if his mother ceases to weep? The elimination of excited emotion and criticism quite effectively quenches fiery rebuttals.
But the practice of silent defiance and absenteeism is a very precarious one. Who is to say that in the absence of the dissenters, protestors, and critics, the void they leave behind will not be filled by the politicians and their propaganda? Will not the politicians’ propaganda grow even louder to make up for the silence of the critics? I worry that indifference makes us more vulnerable than ever. They have not been taking heed to our loud protests; we have only been shouting back in their own language. I’m curious as to when exactl, they would hear our silence.
I am afraid that this leaves us little farther than before. I am tangled in a paradox where our words cease to say anything at all, yet where silence, although impregnated with significance and purpose, leaves us defenseless. Where do we go from here?
It is a curious phenomenon that criticism is perhaps an even stronger motivation than praise. Success in the face of disapproval is the greatest revenge. Biography tells us that every triumph, for it to amount to anything in the public eye, is sullied by dissent: the English teacher who told the aspiring author that she was a horrid speller; the doctor who told the terminally ill patient that he would never overcome his malady; the taunting football player who pissed on the tennis shoes of the computer geek in the locker room. Our heroes need a battle, scars, a ribbon, a medal, a near-death experience in a country far away, and a mother back home begging them not to go. Otherwise, success, survival, and the overcoming of odds would hardly count.
In the same way that our heroes’ obstacles seem to legitimize their successes, we have a curious human tendency to validate others based on the Skeletons in their Closet. I use George W. Bush for a contemporary example. It has never ceased to baffle me that the American populous could so unabashedly overlook their 43rd president’s unquestioningly average academic success. No, perhaps overlook is not the correct word, for we have ministries and commissions and committees to uncover all pitfalls of a politician’s past life, especially for a position as important of that of the president. Americans simply disregarded the fact that history and biography both quite clearly indicate George W. Bush’s dangerous mediocrity.
But why concentrate on Mr. Bush’s average grades at Yale and Harvard when the American mass media offers us a plethora of much more tantalizing Skeletons to uncover than our former president’s C’s in college? Instead, we spread the legs of our public figures and prod about, searching for scandal, adultery, sex tapes, indecent exposure, or kinky bedroom secrets. Our politicians panties are much more transparent than our government’s policies.
Are we so saturated with superficial scandal that we fail to recognize the sweeping corruption that so characterizes our government and its dignitaries? Again, I do not think this is a matter of ignorance. Instead, it is a symptom of a rather simple psychological phenomenon: the aforementioned glorification of the Skeleton in the Closet. In the brief period of my life when I regularly attended a Pentecostal church (an experience worth exploring more in depth in a separate avenue), Sins and Skeletons became synonymous. In one of the first services I attended at Christian Harbor Church, Pastor recited from the pulpit an exhaustive catalog of his personal Skeletons: drug, alcohol, and porn addiction, licentiousness, covetousness, and depression. The congregation cheered and hollered. Just look how far he’d come! The congregation commiserated with their pastor on their respective Sins, awed over his apparent success in combating these demons, and left the service with hope renewed and faith restored. If he could do it, they could too.
So let us put these too phenomenon—the compelling power of criticism and the curious case of the Skeletons in the Closet—and put them back into the context of our original subject: the politician. It is interesting to see just how many of our politicians have admitted to using drugs, to abusing alcohol, to skipping class in college, to having extramarital affairs. We criticize, yes, of course we do. But as detailed above, this judgment only bolsters the counterargument. “Yes, I admit,” says the politician (hypothetically), “to having used recreational marijuana on occasion during my university years. But,” he goes on to say, “as I matured and critically evaluated my past decisions, the experience has only fortified and refined my conviction that drugs, be they recreational or not, are utterly detestable and should remain prohibited in this great country of ours.” (Aww, cmon!)
And so our criticism, valid as it may be, bolsters his perhaps affected rebuttal. Without appearing overtly condescending, he brings himself down to our level, saying quietly that he has made the same mistakes as we do, he has experienced the same pitfalls that we stumble into, and he has understood our suffering. How Christ-like. He makes an appeal to our intellect, trusting that in our maturity, we too will understand the evils of drugs (or socialism, or alcohol, or welfare, or rebellion, or various other values too liberal for the refined mine). And lastly, he invokes patriotism, proclaiming that to be a productive member of society, we too much share his views and values. Feeling self-actualized and self-important, we rise to our feet and applaud.
Although I had not intended to discuss counterculture, an opportunity for a useful aside conveniently presents itself. Consider the word itself; it linguistically implies its opposite, making an arbitrary distinction between what is generally recognized as culture and its antithesis. Let us return to the example given above: the politician who (hypothetically) publicly admits to having partaken in recreational marijuana. Sitting on the boardwalk that skirts between culture and counterculture, he dipped his toes into the tempting waters below. He gazed into the waters to catch his own reflection and he fell in love. But a learned scholar as he was, he did not fall into the trap of Narcissus; instead, he took a step back, as to admire his reflection from a fuller angle. And from there, on his pedestal, his pulpit, his pillar, his stage, he began to preach, stronger than ever.
The fundamental defect of this dichotomous model is that both extremes mutually support one another. The waters of counterculture only reflect the color of the sky, after all. Just as a rebel without a cause is a no-good rebel, the politician’s platform is incomplete without his denunciations. The two extremes push and shove, shout and curse, point fingers and accuse. Where are we left after this perpetual battle of tug of war? With abraded palms and hoarse voices from screaming across a chasm we can’t bring ourselves to cross.
What option are we left with? We have shown how success in the face of criticism is the greatest triumph of them all, and that Skeletons in the Closet are little more than political toys. What has established itself as culture’s antithesis is simultaneously a reflection and a negation of its rival. I am tempted to propose a campaign of indifference and absenteeism. There is nothing more detestable than apathy. Instead of offering words of encouragement or words of dissuasion, offer no words at all. What motivation will the soldier departing for war have if his mother ceases to weep? The elimination of excited emotion and criticism quite effectively quenches fiery rebuttals.
But the practice of silent defiance and absenteeism is a very precarious one. Who is to say that in the absence of the dissenters, protestors, and critics, the void they leave behind will not be filled by the politicians and their propaganda? Will not the politicians’ propaganda grow even louder to make up for the silence of the critics? I worry that indifference makes us more vulnerable than ever. They have not been taking heed to our loud protests; we have only been shouting back in their own language. I’m curious as to when exactl, they would hear our silence.
I am afraid that this leaves us little farther than before. I am tangled in a paradox where our words cease to say anything at all, yet where silence, although impregnated with significance and purpose, leaves us defenseless. Where do we go from here?
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